"I know I still make mistakes...but you have new mercies for me everyday..."

"You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid. Because I know that you love me."

Well, I've had a really good weekend. :) One of those that I feel like I should blog about, for when, undoubtedly, the devil comes to try and tell me it didn't matter.

This weekend was the Chi Alpha winter camp 2011. It's pretty much a weekend getaway with all the XA branches in Washington state. We drove to Camp Beracha in Auburn, and it was just...good. Our topic this weekend was sin. Which, as Julie said when introducing it, is something that we tend to gloss over in the church a lot. It's not easy to talk about the tough stuff. We don't want to come across judgemental, or scare off any possible unbelievers who might be sitting in the audience. We try and make our Christianity very surfacy sometimes, and they pretty much took the lid off of that this weekend.  Friday night, Julie shared about leaving the "desert" of our lives, and going to find water. And the main point that I actually took away from that night was "Once you've found water, stop living like you haven't." That wasn't necessarily something that she mentioned, but it was one of the comments that I think God told me, personally. Knowing the truth means living in the truth.

Saturday morning, we talked about the three battles that we face with sin - ourselves, the world, and the devil. It's interesting to think about them as three separate entities. I always considered it one battle, but the devil used ourselves and the world as weapons on his behalf. We broke it down a lot, and then identified ways to combat the fights - regenerative power (Holy Spirit), truth, and trust in God. Saturday night was about how to pick ourselves back up after we've sinned, and like Hebrews 12, running the race with perseverance. We were designed to be runners, and as Christians, are bound to endure hardships. It's just part of being human, and part of training to live life God's way.

Then Sunday morning, the speaker (Jessica from University of Idaho) talked about what the role of Christian brothers and sisters is regarding sin in one another's lives. I think that she did a really good job explaining what "judgment" means in the Christian life. It's a balance between humility and self-evaluation, giving love and grace to others, and trying to spur them on when they're living below their potential. I also liked that she mentioned how we aren't to judge those outside the faith, holding them to our standards, when heck- they don't even know what the standards ARE to begin with!

Bringing it to a personal level a little bit, I was able to really see and hear God at work in my heart. I know that He was reminding me of things in my life that I need to work on, and showing me that it's really okay to not be perfect. I've been guilty of believing the "I need to be perfect" lie so many times...of  feeling burdensome to others, and of being afraid of judgment. He's given us each other for a reason  - to live this human life together.  I need to continue to humble myself and remember that it's not about me. God told me that this weekend too. I just kept repeating during one of the worship songs - It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. My "flesh" doesn't deserve control. I don't have to take on these problems alone because Jesus came with the strength to help me through them. And as I was saying that, He was responding in my ear - I did it for you. He survived this world, and died for me.

"God, why'd you do it?"
"Because I love you. And I am crazy about you. Not just 'the world'. You."

Wow. That's the truth that I've been working to believe all year long. Amongst so many lies that I hear, and some that I even occasionally believe, that's the conversation that keeps repeating itself.  So who am I to question God, or His timing, when I know full well that the path He has is right, and all things will work together for my good?


*Your Love Never Fails, Jesus Culture