"And here we go...there's nothing left to lose..."

"So I packed my car and I headed east
Where I felt your fire and a sweet release
There's a fire in these hills that's coming down
And I don't know much but I found you here
And I can not wait another year
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon"

In two weeks and four days, I will be in Pullman.

Last year, the thought of that made me sick to my stomach. I was having trouble eating, every moment of every day was "the last" whatever that I'd do in Longview. While I was excited for college in theory, my physical state wasn't so keen on the idea of moving for the first time.

Right now, I'm thrilled to be heading back so soon. :)  It's not because I don't like being here, on the contrary, it feels really nice to be in a familiar routine, knowing the streets and the businesses, the people, and the culture. I have done what I think is a reasonable job of keeping up with the friends that are here, and I have a summer job that has been an amazing blessing. However.... I am ready to be back at WSU. I'm excited to be on campus again, looking forward to getting back in touch with my friends from last year, and continuing to move forward with all of that school-ish stuff.

Every scene looks like it jumped out of a painting!
Photos just can't do any of this landscape justice...

Mom and I went to Colfax last week to visit my grandparents, and for me to say goodbye to my (best, really) friend from last year who is moving to Utah this summer. Getting to spend a day or so in Pullman/Moscow and see the businesses again, the people, the absolute beauty of the Palouse hills right before harvest starts....I'm ready. It's easy to become stagnant when I'm here, as I think would be true no matter where my hometown was. The whole "slipping into old habits" thing is super simple to do. There have been several weeks where I would struggle every day to keep my attitudes and motivations on the right page. I'm not necessarily expected to be the outgoing, slightly-more-mature person that I became last year, and in occasions where I try to be, sometimes people refuse to accept it. Definitely a learning curve.

Anyhow, all that rambling to say, I miss my support group at school. And going into next year as a leader in Chi Alpha is both exciting and really scary. I missed having a role in the ministry last year, something that I realized midway through the semester. I'm so used to being needed, and it was weird to feel like I wasn't. In hindsight, I am grateful that I had last year to really just be a "me" year. I needed to take that time for myself and let God and other mature role models guide me and pour into my life. It was a strange place to be, but one that I don't regret going through. Now, I'm the one who needs to be prepared to guide and support others. I have to have the mindset of being the giver and not the receiver. Looking at my weekly agenda for this fall, I already recognize that I will be drained if I don't watch myself. There's not very much mental or emotional down time - I'm going to have to be either studying or being people-y a lot.  And to do so, I have to grow so much spiritually to be in the place that I think I need to be. Not that my estimation is always accurate.

Scott Hall, my new dorm

I'll be living in a different dorm this year, as I think I've mentioned. Actually, my new room is only three doors down from where my dad lived as a college student. The rooms have been renovated since then, obviously, but it's still kinda cool! There are definite pros and cons to this new location, but it's too late to change my mind now! Haha. My roommate's name is Brianna, and she's also a XA member. We didn't hang out a ton last year, so I still don't know her super well, but we get along at least. :) I think it will be a good situation.

What else is going on...idk really. I'm in the midst of a summer class at LCC - nothing like Calc IV at 8am four days a week. ;) But I'm a nerd, so it's been fun. I like that it's a class of about 15 people, and our teacher is very low key. I also like that I can get done with the confusingness of the last level of calculus in a six-week community college class versus taking it over an entire semester at WSU and trying to balance learning this with everything else. I'm happy with my decision.

My 3rd annual "summer soundtrack" is coming along very nicely. When I'm officially out of summer, I'll try and remember to post the playlist somewhere. It's gonna be good.

I guess that's really all that I have to update about. Amazing how three months can go by so fast and yet so slow!

Next update will be coming from an official second-year college student!
<3

*Nothing Left to Lose, Mat Kearney