"We just wanna make the world dance....forget about the price tag..."

Wow, has it seriously been a month since my last post? Time sure flies!
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Well, this year is quickly drawing to a close. Yesterday was the first day of "dead week", which contrary to its name, means "do as much as you can in as little time as possible" week. I've only got 3 finals, which is very relaxed compared to some, but it will still be a lot of work for me. I'm trying to keep myself motivated to study instead of play, which isn't always easy (especially when my [very much loved] roomie is able to sleep in until noon and watch movies all afternoon). But it's been a fantastic freshman year, and really, I'm kind of sad to see things wrapping up. Luckily for me, almost all of my friends live within about 2 hours of home, so I know that we at least have the option to hang out once in a while.  :)

This past Sunday was Easter - and it was fantastic! I've been excited for it for almost a week beforehand. Resonate had a service in the morning instead of the evening, so I got up "early", went down to the dining hall, and had my first muffin since the beginning of Lent. And it was a very tasty one, at that! Came upstairs and opened my "easter basket" care packages from my family - they're just so awesome - and then started getting ready for church. It was great - I put on my "Jesus" music and did everything except for hair. Then drove down to Stephenson and spend another hour with Laurel, who was nice enough to curl my hair for me. <3 We went to service, and the room was packed! It was probably close to 400 people, and with a college church, that's so exciting to see!

I knew some people who went home for Easter, and I really debated whether or not I should. But...this is the first year here, and I wanted to experience the holiday with all of my "new" brothers and sisters. Was it weird? Yeah, a little bit. However, Easter, by nature, is kind of a floating holiday. It's been anywhere from early March to late April, and I've celebrated with any grouping of family members, in places from Longview to Hawaii. With that said, I think we have less "traditions" to miss , because it's really just about the core of the holiday. He is risen!!

Sunday afternoon, Alma and I took a roomie-roadtrip to Steptoe Butte. It was so fun! :) I've been looking forward to that opportunity to spend some girl time with her for a while now. We just hung out, took pictures, and then went to dinner afterwards. It was a great kickoff to the last 2 weeks of school. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better first year roommate, and I'm pretty sad that we can't live together again next year. I'm glad that we live so close to each other so there will be opportunities to hang out in the future.

Another new facet for next year, besides the new classes, living situation, and sophomore status, is going to be leading a Core. I've been invited to help facilitate a women's small group for Chi Alpha next year, which is exciting and a little bit intimidating. I know that this is the next logical step for me, but it's just weird to actually be taking it.

What else is goin' on? Hm... well, I have started packing stuff for summer. Mostly just things like books and DVDs, dress clothes, scarves, random things like that. But one box and bag at a time, it's getting gathered up. I'm definitely excited for summer, even though I'm sad to see this year be over. I'm hopefully getting a job, in fact, I have an interview set up the Saturday I get back. But I mailed out probably close to 15 applications, so something's got to come through, right? Aside from seeing friends and family, and taking some chill time, I will also be taking the final level of calculus at LCC during the second half of the summer to get those credits out of the way. Gonna be a crazy last month or so of break, but I'm excited to be being proactive about it. Plus, going 4 months without math is a long time when it's the level that I'm working with right now. 6 weeks is a much more manageable break.

Speaking of math, that's my first final next week. I'd better get back to reviewing some indefinite integrals.... :)

*Price Tag, Jessie J

"Makin' banana pancakes....pretend like it's the weekend now..."

Wow...so I just needed to post an update blog. A: because it's been a few weeks, and B: because tonight was so awesome.  :)
     Short and sweet- Spring Break was awesome. I loved being home, and early in the week it was kind of depressing to be back in classes. But I'm getting back into the routine, so it's all okay now.
    I'll just start with the main event - we had another "Fratcakes" event tonight. This one was from 10 until 2, and I was there until about 1:30 or so. I absolutely LOVE doing this. It's so much fun, and I love how people are always so taken aback by a few free pancakes. But as for why I'm really writing this... I had a great conversation tonight. I just keep asking God to speak to this guy's heart. He came up to the tent with his friend, and they asked us about the pancakes, and he wants to know if this is for a church. So I told him, yes, we're with Resonate, and just giving out pancakes.
   "Is there any Jesus involved?"
    "Yeah, sure," I say, "There's a lil' bit of Jesus involved. We're just out here loving people because He does."
    We then begin to discuss how he's Jewish, and therefore "can't accept our pancakes". Jokingly, of course. He asks what church, and where it is and stuff like that. And we're just talking about random theology, communion,  the differences between Catholic and Protestant, when he happens to swear, and then apologize. And me, being me, casually reply with, "It's all good."  He's kind of taken aback by this, and is like, "What? That doesn't offend you?" I just say that just because something is a conviction of mine, doesn't mean I get to hold him to my standard or judge him for what he's doing. By this point, his friend has pancakes, and so we introduce ourselves, shake hands, and he leaves.  The night goes on, and about 12:30 or 1-ish, he comes back, by himself, and gets two pancakes. Then proceeds to come stand next to me and say that he wants to talk some more while he eats them.
   "Give me your sales pitch."
    I knew the 2 minute Gospel wasn't what he was looking for. "I don't have a sales pitch. It's not about 'selling' it to you. Jesus can sell himself."
    Again, confused look.  And then randomly, "so you believe in the Trinity?" Me: "Yeah, I do."
    "Where does that idea come from? I mean, where in Scripture is that mentioned?"
      I'm so happy at this point - because I know the answer to this! AND I know it from the Old Testament, which is all he'll credit anyhow. I tell him about Genesis 1:1, and how all 3 parts of God are present at creation. And he says he's never heard it explained like that before. Our conversation just goes on like that! We talked about hope, and how I feel sad for people who don't believe in more than this life because there's so little hope. He asks me if I can even say something negative, and if there's a group of people that irritate me. I decided to level with him, and said "Apathetic Christians". That spurred the discussion about how people need to just go all out or none at all. And we talked about homosexuality, and how in God's eyes, all sins are the same (another 'new' thing for him) even if our culture weights them differently. And about why Christians don't believe that the Old Testament laws are necessarily applicable to us anymore because Jesus' blood opened a new covenant.
      He finishes his pancakes, and tells me "Thanks. I've learned some stuff tonight. Might need to go home and crack open my Bible. I do own one, believe it or not." before leaving.  :D  Have I mentioned how amazing God is? All this week I've been wondering if I'm ready to take the step into a leadership or discipleship role. And after tonight, I love answering questions. People are so curious when they see authentic human beings, just...loving Jesus. And my history in all the Old Testament stuff, and knowing the answers to those kinds of questions, well... that just made it so much more effective. And I loved every second of it! It's gone past just the need to "win" that I had when I was younger.  Sharing the Gospel is all about listening to people, and meeting them where they need met. They don't need to be smacked over the head with hell. They need to be encouraged to be thirsty. I just pray that the words I had to say tonight were God's words, not just mine. And that they'll plant seeds of curiosity and openness to Christianity for him.
    Call me crazy...but I would totally stand outside every weekend in the freezing cold to have conversations like that with people. It's so worth it.
    That's what I've been learning these last few weeks, I guess. Lukewarm just doesn't cut it in this world, guys. It's gotta be all out. And people respond well to authenticity. It's not about being perfect, it's about being real. Time to step up, brothers and sisters.  :)  Time to step up.

*Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson

"I sing a simple song of love...to my Savior...to my Jesus...."

Dude!! Spring break is coming in like.... less than 3 days. :D  Actually, I will be home in approximately 60 hours. I think I calculated that right.  :D I'm so excited! It's not a homesick "oh my gosh get me out of Pullman" type of feeling, it's just, I'm ready for a break, and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with some "old" friends and seeing my family. I worked really hard this past weekend to catch up on all my homework, so as of last night, all I really have left to do is study for my 2 tests, and run a bunch of "pre-leaving" errands. I won't be able to totally forget about school, but it'll come close. :)

Riding back with me Friday morning is my (amazing) roomie, her friend from Eastern (who's gonna get here by bus Thursday afternoon), and yes, a total stranger. WSU started this "ride share" network, and I figured, if there's anyone who's going to LV/Kelso that's not a total psycho, can leave when I am, and is willing to help pay for my gas there and back, why not? I've got an extra seat in my car, after all. So there's a girl named Chelsea who's also going to be in our car. Look at me and my bad self, branching out. Hahaha. :) I'm coming Longview!! As fast as I can!

Another thing to talk about in this blog is Lent. I have never really recognized Lent, but I think I'm going to try this year. When thinking about what I should give up, I was having trouble finding something that wouldn't just me making it "easy" on myself. And as people have been saying, it's not about what we can afford to sacrifice. It's recognizing that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, and we need to surrender something that "hurts" a little bit. Randomly as I was going through some options, the verses in John 6 came to my mind. That's the part of the Bible where Jesus talks about Himself as the Bread of Life. And I've been enjoying the symbolism of that idea - giving up bread. For those who don't know me super well, I love bread. It's my favorite food group ever. And so I'm going to take these 40 days to focus on making Jesus the "bread" in my life. Yes. I realize that it's going to be hard. So many food choices, especially for a college student, involve bread of some sort.

So here's my "yes/no" list. Not so that I can be legalistic, because I know that's not what Lent is about. But just so that I can keep it straight with me, and with God, what I'm giving up.

"Bread" includes: Bread by the traditional definition, as well as bagels, biscuits, muffins, scones, crust on pizza or pies, waffles/pancakes/french toast, crackers, and tortillas
Not in the "bread" category: granola, cereal, "breading" on meat (ie: chicken strips), pasta, potatoes

The only exception to my "Lent-ing" would be if I'm a guest at someone else's house for a meal, and the main course falls under/involves one of the items. But if I can just skip the rolls, that's what I'd do. Oh, I guess communion is an exception too. Although, I don't know whether or not those baby crackers are even counted in the food pyramid. ;) Lol.

I am very much aware of how much of a challenge this is gonna be for me. And even though it's a much more traditional "Lent" idea than giving up something like Facebook, or TV, or more modern options, I think this is what I need to do this time.  :)  So, starting as of... oh, 20 minutes ago.

Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever. " - John 6:35

*Arms of Love, Vineyard

"Oh, I just can't get enough...how much do I need to fill me up?"

We were struck with an impromptu blizzard this week. I don't know how to explain how annoying I found it, simply because I was supposed to get out of town this weekend and visit my friend in Seattle. I'm just getting restless. It's been almost 7 weeks straight that I've been in Pullman. I'm loving this semester, and I really have fallen in love with the university. But it's time to get out for a while, ya know? It's just time. Only 2 more weeks until Spring Break - I can't wait. Not only have I not been home since January, but I haven't had any visitors here either. Last semester, I at least saw people from home about once a month or a little more. But the snow is beautiful.... I will admit. And I made it to the grocery store and back without dying, although it DID almost give me a heart attack.

Busyness is picking up, just with a lot of "independent" projects that require out of class time. Good for me though, to continue being more self-motivated. I've also started applying for summer jobs...any of them that I can think of. I need to be able to make money this summer, so I'm trying to get the jump on any other applicants that might be coming later in the spring. We'll see. Not that I'm excited about working 30 hours a week and hopefully also taking classes. But what must be done, must be done.

I've been struggling this week with my attitudes, I think. I'm getting very easily irritated. The good and bad thing with that is, I have learned at least to be mature enough to internalize my frustrations. I do my best to keep any signs of anger from people (although those who've known me for a long time definitely know what to look for). But it's been little things that wouldn't even normally bother me. It's gotta be spring fever. :P My roommate is going to be in Spokane for part of this weekend, and even though that makes it lonely here, I think it's going to be good timing. I need some "me" time to chill and process and just be silent. Recharging. And the funny thing is, as I find myself irritated with things, on the other side of my brain, God's been showing me how to be broken for other people. My heart's learning to just ache over the lost, or even those who aren't in the same place as I am spiritually. Granted, that's good. I know that's how I'm supposed to be towards people. But combining it with my "flesh" side that's constantly trying not to explode on someone... It's becoming exhausting, all these emotions. I'm not one who loves to get on that particular roller coaster.

Random: we finally set aside the time, and rearranged the dorm room last week. It's a good change, I think, and it was good to clean things out and re-organize. It's much more functional in my opinion. Ohh- there's the tie in. Just like it's sometimes time consuming and difficult to reorganize something, it's not always easy to make changes in our own lives or hearts. But in the long run...it makes us much more functional Christians. Truth hurts with that one.

Well, I should get back to some homework before my next engagement. :)  Peace out, ya'll.

*You Got Me, Colbie Callait

"More than a love song can give....more than a feeling like this..."

Seeing as it's been almost 3 weeks since my last post, I figured it's time for another update goin' on.   =)

Midterms are over, thank goodness! Still waiting to hear how my math test went, but I felt pretty good about it, so I really hope it was a justified feeling. In my english class, we're having to design an experiment or something to do our own research on. It's a little scary, not gonna lie. Basically, we're writing the information that we're writing the paper on.

This week marks the end of the 5th week of classes, which means there is only one more month until spring break. How does time go so crazy fast?? I was having a rough stretch about a week ago - just wanting to be done with school and go home. But at the same time, I've been learning how to deal with transitions. Every time I start to feel lonely, or jealous of the people who get to go home every weekend, then something cool just happens. I'll have a really good night with people and realize, without really knowing it, I have made friends. Ones that I really enjoy being with. It's still a different dynamic  than past friendships, but I'm excited to spend the next few years here and see where things go.


I've been doing really well with my New Year's Resolution - the cliche "get in shape" one, actually. But I'm trying to stay motivated, and I'm going to the rec every weekend, taking a dance class twice a week, and doing an ab workout almost every night. And this last week I've started working on some new eating habits. As hard as it has been, I definitely feel much better. Still a ways to go yet, however.

And what else.... hmm...

I guess there's that little piece of me that's really wanting next week to be over. I love weekends, and next week is a 3 day weekend! Yay, President's Day!  =)  Plus, Alma and I are hopefully re-arranging our room, which it definitely needs. We need a little spice in our lives. Haha. But to get to that weekend, there is still Valentine's Day. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna be one of those girls who sits alone in bed with ice cream watching The Notebook. Quite the opposite - I have lots going on that day. And I'm not "really" looking for anyone at this point anyhow.  I worked through that whole "woe is me" phase not that long ago, and have reached contentment about spending another <3 Day celebrating Singles Awareness Day. There's just always a few moments that are hard, because I'm human. I just have to keep prayin' my way through them and trusting on God's timing. Wow. That could be another blog all in itself if I keep going down this track.

It's almost time to start looking for summer jobs and all kinds of great stuff like that. I'm not loving the thought of working full time this summer, but I know I really need to. I need the money, and the work experience. I just hope that I can find one. There's the real trick. I have to get SOMEthing, so if anyone knows of openings in Cowlitz County, PLEASE let me know. LOL. But summer also brings lots of other fun stuff, and friend time, and sunshine, and good food.... mmmm. Bring it on.

I guess this is really the extent of what I have to say at this point.
Until next time

*More Than A Love Song, Augustana

"I know I still make mistakes...but you have new mercies for me everyday..."

"You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid. Because I know that you love me."

Well, I've had a really good weekend. :) One of those that I feel like I should blog about, for when, undoubtedly, the devil comes to try and tell me it didn't matter.

This weekend was the Chi Alpha winter camp 2011. It's pretty much a weekend getaway with all the XA branches in Washington state. We drove to Camp Beracha in Auburn, and it was just...good. Our topic this weekend was sin. Which, as Julie said when introducing it, is something that we tend to gloss over in the church a lot. It's not easy to talk about the tough stuff. We don't want to come across judgemental, or scare off any possible unbelievers who might be sitting in the audience. We try and make our Christianity very surfacy sometimes, and they pretty much took the lid off of that this weekend.  Friday night, Julie shared about leaving the "desert" of our lives, and going to find water. And the main point that I actually took away from that night was "Once you've found water, stop living like you haven't." That wasn't necessarily something that she mentioned, but it was one of the comments that I think God told me, personally. Knowing the truth means living in the truth.

Saturday morning, we talked about the three battles that we face with sin - ourselves, the world, and the devil. It's interesting to think about them as three separate entities. I always considered it one battle, but the devil used ourselves and the world as weapons on his behalf. We broke it down a lot, and then identified ways to combat the fights - regenerative power (Holy Spirit), truth, and trust in God. Saturday night was about how to pick ourselves back up after we've sinned, and like Hebrews 12, running the race with perseverance. We were designed to be runners, and as Christians, are bound to endure hardships. It's just part of being human, and part of training to live life God's way.

Then Sunday morning, the speaker (Jessica from University of Idaho) talked about what the role of Christian brothers and sisters is regarding sin in one another's lives. I think that she did a really good job explaining what "judgment" means in the Christian life. It's a balance between humility and self-evaluation, giving love and grace to others, and trying to spur them on when they're living below their potential. I also liked that she mentioned how we aren't to judge those outside the faith, holding them to our standards, when heck- they don't even know what the standards ARE to begin with!

Bringing it to a personal level a little bit, I was able to really see and hear God at work in my heart. I know that He was reminding me of things in my life that I need to work on, and showing me that it's really okay to not be perfect. I've been guilty of believing the "I need to be perfect" lie so many times...of  feeling burdensome to others, and of being afraid of judgment. He's given us each other for a reason  - to live this human life together.  I need to continue to humble myself and remember that it's not about me. God told me that this weekend too. I just kept repeating during one of the worship songs - It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. My "flesh" doesn't deserve control. I don't have to take on these problems alone because Jesus came with the strength to help me through them. And as I was saying that, He was responding in my ear - I did it for you. He survived this world, and died for me.

"God, why'd you do it?"
"Because I love you. And I am crazy about you. Not just 'the world'. You."

Wow. That's the truth that I've been working to believe all year long. Amongst so many lies that I hear, and some that I even occasionally believe, that's the conversation that keeps repeating itself.  So who am I to question God, or His timing, when I know full well that the path He has is right, and all things will work together for my good?


*Your Love Never Fails, Jesus Culture

"And this old world is a new world...is a bold world...for me..."

Well, I think I need to post one blog entry at least before Christmas break is over. :) It's the day before I head back to school - I'm not too sure how I feel about it. I'm really looking forward to the classes I'm taking, and I do miss some aspects of college life, for sure.And it's weird not talking to all of the great people I've met.  But at the same time, being home for a month...seeing all of the people that I grew up with... it's started to take its effect again. I love the "chill"-ness of Christmas break. And this is still home, really. It's comfortable. Although at the same time, I have experienced some of the "culture shock" being back. It's tricky to not revert to some of my old habits and things...even though I've changed a lot, being back makes it really easy to be the person I was last year and not many people would know. But coming back from being away for a while, it's helped me to recognize places that I still need to grow. I can tell where my weak points are.

I actually had time this break to see a lot more people, which I loved. Thanksgiving was such a whirlwind! But having over three weeks....I could schedule a lot more one-on-one time with people. And I got to go to school a few days, see three basketball games, all kinds of cool things like that. :) It was awesome to hang out and catch up on everyone's lives.

Christmas itself was great. :) I haven't had a Christmas Day at home since I've been really little, because we usually go over to Colfax and spend it with my grandparents. This year they came here. It was really nice, and it felt like what a "normal" American family might do for Christmas. At least in my mind. Haha. And trying to keep everything scaled back and simple was good. I'm kind of at a point where I don't want stuff, really. Okay, that's a little bit of a lie. Of course I want stuff. But I recognize that I don't want it at the expense of other people. I'd much rather just try and take care of it on my own if I can. The generosity at Christmas, well... it overwhelmed me a little bit this year.

Oh, and that's right - it's 2011 now! I'm so OLD! :D Lived in 3 decades, 2 centuries, and 2 millenia and I'm not even 20 years old yet. Crazy! Lol. Did I make New Year's Resolutions? Nothing really official. I've got ideas of things I want to work on, for sure. My new "semester's resolution" is to make it to the rec center at least once a week. Which sounds like nothing to anyone who actually works out hard core, I know. But for me - that will be a challenge, at least to start with. But a good one - I definitely could get into better shape than I'm in.

This coming semester I'm taking psychology, calculus, french, english, band, and american social dance. Should be an exciting batch of classes, and I'm looking forward to it a lot. The first few weeks will be hard though, just getting back into the swing of getting up at 8am, actually walking everywhere, doing homework.... but somewhere deep down I know that once I re-adjust it'll be a lot of fun. And I'm hoping to start volunteering in the local school system this semester too. :) Get my "kid" quota every week. Haha.

I guess I'm about out of things to really talk about right now. My next post will most likely be from back in the ol' dorm room. *shakes head* Weirdness!

*Feeling Good, Michael Buble