*heavy sigh* Such a long week.... but it's on the downhill stretch now!
I had my first "midterm" tonight. Calculus. Only 9 questions - but of course, some of them had part a-c, and the entire thing is worth a whopping 100 points.
It's funny how much stress homework can cause! I mean, in high school, homework was just a passing nuisance. As long as you kind of understood the concepts, you can fake your way through most of it, just regurgitating what was in the example problems or the lecture. Fill-in-the-blank exactly like the review sheet. Oh no...not any more. Homework is intentionally tricky. There's always something to be doing, because if you get even a little bit behind, well, you're pretty much up a creek without a paddle for the next week.
And with high school stuff, you have a class for a semester or an entire year. The amount of points possible is in the thousands. So naturally, you have the option of blowing off a few things, or failing a few assignments and it really doesn't change much in the long run. Here, this test I took tonight is 20 percent of the points I get all semester. Aka: if I bomb this, I've got to pull straight As for the next 2 months to average it up! So much stress! I basically sat down and felt like I was going to either get sick or pass out. Then of course, I breathe, and tell myself to take it easy and go one small step at a time and try and process the question. I think I did okay. But there are a few that I'm pretty sure I got wrong, which means that I'm looking at a B? Maybe?
That's weird for me too! I'm like, excited about the prospect of getting a B. From someone who was about ready to cry after my LCC A minus, that's a big transition. But I knew coming into college that I wasn't gonna be able to be the smart kid all the time anymore. I've adjusted my expectations for myself. Not that I'm not still trying for the A. I just don't make that my "standard", at least not this semester. The good news is, they say that your freshman semester is the lowest GPA you pull while in college. So it can only get better from here, right?
But yeah. Finished one midterm, and I have to turn around and study tonight and all day tomorrow for my chemistry mid-term tomorrow night. Ain't no rest for the wicked, I guess. ;) However, I was having a really great day today, which made it a lot easier to be motivated for a long day today and tomorrow. And then my family comes!! Yay for Mom's bday weekend and an excuse to not think about school!
I'm really missing all of my friends back home this week. Everyone starting LCC...going to classes together... Not going to lie - even though this is the right place for me, there are moments where I wish I would have just taken the easy way out. Of course, I still would've had to say goodbye to those who went away, so in either scenario it would have been hard. I just wish everyone would've come here with me! We could be out of Longview, have space to meet new people and stuff, but still been that security blanket. I know it's not how life works. But I just don't want to lose touch with my "brothers and sisters"! I <3 them! And it's weird not knowing how everyone's life is going! Even though Thanksgiving is a short break for most people (except me, hahaha, yay semester schools), I still want to see them all again before Christmas!
It is a weird time in life... that's all I gotta say about that....
*College Kids, Relient K
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