I'm having another one of those "I should update my blog" days, even though I don't really have a specific topic to talk about today. Feeling a little overwhelmed with homework, and even though my mid-term scores came back satisfactorily, I still am not used to feeling like I don't know how to guarantee that my grade is where I want it to be.
Is it sad that I'm already trying to plan out my schedule for next semester? I don't even know why I'm already trying to map things out when I should be focusing on what's going on right now. Maybe if I have the "next step" in line it's sub-consciously the light at the end of the tunnel? And I've got to take more credits than I am this semester, so that's going to be another change. Just adding onto the homework I guess. Lol.
This last weekend was super fun -- my family came up, and so I had lots of "chill" time where I didn't have to think about homework. :) Obviously, that means I have to hit the ground running this week to try and get back in the focus of school. It's so easy just to let everything I've learned just fall out of my head if I don't constantly work on school. I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving (52 days... :D) , but at the same time, I'm like, "How can I take 10 days off of homework and still remember anything when I get back?" I go without homework for 24 hours and it's hard to stay focused the next day! The other thing I did this weekend was get to see Myriah's volleyball team play up in Spokane. :) That was so much fun. I miss volleyball a lot...just the team feeling of it, yelling until your throat hurts, feeling in super good shape....
Anyhow, I got to talk to her for a few minutes after the game. :) It's crazy how much I've missed her - and everyone from school really - and I didn't even completely realize until we were just talking again. That's the down-side I guess, of our small school. I'm so attached to people. We've all known one another for so long, and always been together. It almost feels like I'm cheating to be having a "new" life without them, and I feel a little frustrated at them for having a new life without me! Granted, I know that it's supposed to work like this. And I'm not mad at people for following the path of their lives that they've been called to walk. But sometimes I wish that at least a few people had been called to the same path I have. I meet tons of people from huge high schools who have multiple friends from their classes here, and I am a little jealous, can't lie. I've loved meeting new people, and I really like the new friends I'm making. I just would love to have a few people here who've known me longer than a month... people who I know are on the same page and who know me so completely.
I'll probably look back and wonder why I wrote this slightly nostalgic and depressing entry...but it wouldn't be a true blog unless this was more than just my "life-is-wonderful" days. I'm tired, and just in one of those moods where life seems way out of the realm of my control. I guess that's good practice for me - life shouldn't be in MY control at all, much as I want it to be. Time is just weird. I don't want to move backwards, necessarily, but I just wish that some of the past could have joined me in the future. It's tricky business, this getting old stuff....
*The Middle, Jimmy Eat World
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