"Look now for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing....oh, rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing"

Home-made Christmas cards!

And here we are again....it's "Dead Week". *cue ominous music here* Thankfully, I seem to still be very much alive! ;) My first final isn't until Wednesday night, which means I'm tricking myself into believing that I have more study time than I probably do. Oh well, what's college without a few all-night cram sessions, right? Jk. I have yet to pull an all-nighter in college, and frankly, have no plans to do so in the near future. I have 5 finals, but 2 of them are take homes, so basically I only have 3 to worry about. Good stuff.

So much has happened in the last month, it's a little hard to know where to begin and what to write about!
I'll start by saying that the Chi Alpha Christmas service last night was awesome! :D I'm not even sure what it was - the acappella guys version of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch", Steve's reading of the Dr. Seuss story, Danica's gorgeous painting, or all of my brothers and sisters circled around Kimbrough 101 singing Christmas carols. Some combination of those just moved me. I honestly just couldn't stop smiling the entire night...almost got to the point of tears. Weird how a room filled with God's presence just makes you want to shout with excitement and fall to the ground at the same time. Last night was one of those moments. I suppose it's partially because I've been processing the concept of God's blessing for awhile now. Why on earth do I have so much? I look at all of these fantastic people that I am surrounded by, who at the same time have gone through so many struggles, and wonder why I have been lucky enough to avoid them. What's God's reason for putting me in this "bubble"? I know it's not like I am waiting for the shoe of judgment to drop, but sometimes I feel like I should be. At some point, shouldn't I have trial? And there we were last night, with all of our different walks of life, just singing about the miracle of Christmas and the reason that Christ was born in the first place, and the room was full of such joy I wanted to explode! *shakes head* I know I'll be working through those questions for a while.

Goin to camp...8th grade, maybe?

In other news, I hit 20, and I'm officially all grown up now, I guess. I've been asked to be in a wedding in January! I can't believe I'm old enough to have "married friends"...but I suppose I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited! She's probably one of my oldest friends, and I was so honored when she asked me to be involved.  :)  And yes, I got to meet him over Thanksgiving Break. I don't know him super well, but I like what I've seen, I like what other people have said, and I know that it would take a special guy to catch her attention. So yes, even though my approval is not required, I approve.  ;)  Hopefully I'll have more details and pictures for a future blog entry. Right now, I'm still working to finish the semester, and then I'll have more time to think about and process the whole thing. But it's new news, so, hey! Gotta blog it, right? Okay, weird tangent -- right now I'm listening to Pandora radio, and that song "King of Majesty" by Hillsong is on. It always reminds me of summer camp...with aforementioned friend. Heehee. There's a life-comes-full-circle moment right there.

Last blog entry I mentioned some exciting news that I couldn't talk about at the time. Well, details have all fallen into place, and so now I can! *drumroll* I'm going to HAITI!  :D  It'll be my first mission trip, and I'll be going with a team of other XA members for 2 weeks this May. Haiti is also one of the few not-France French-speaking countries, and I'm thrilled that 4 years of foreign language study will get a chance to be used. My next French class is called 'Speaking and Listening', and so hopefully that will prepare me to have some sort of usefulness while we're there. Aside from the fact that they speak French,  our family has also sponsored a girl in Haiti for several years now. She's my age, and so it's almost like we have "family" down there. The odds are still slim, but I could possibly arrange to meet her! All those "selfish" details aside, I am so thrilled to be going. It's a major step of faith -- we have to fundraise our trip costs, and I know that unless God brings the money in, it won't happen. So I'm trusting good things to happen, and expecting that I'll have a testimony once that process itself is over. Anyone who feels led to support me financially... let me know and I will gladly get the information to you! And of course, I would appreciate all the prayers that you can send. Both for myself, the team, and the people that we will be working with in Haiti.

Almost Christmas... :)

So yeah. That'll be the first part of my summer, followed shortly after by my little brother's high school graduation. Crazy stuff, man! Only ten more days until I'm home for Christmas! I just have to finish strong....four exams, a presentation, and a smattering of homework assignments to go. *sigh* "I think I can, I think I can..." Looking forward to getting home and taking some down time. I'm not taking any classes over break this year, which should be nice. Breathers are good.  :)

Okay....time to stop the procrastination and go do work now. Peace out, blog-o-sphere!

*It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, traditional

"I don't wanna mess this thing up.... I don't wanna push too far...."

Hey there world! :)

Well, it's been a month, so I think we're due for a new post. I'm sitting downstairs in Cleveland, drinking my white chocolate mocha, enjoying the fact that I have an extra hour in my morning today. It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving break starts in less than 3 days! I'm pretty excited. It's going to be busy, but a good kind of busy. November has really flown by. Dad's weekend was last weekend, so the family came up for a few days. Good times hanging out with them - though I must confess, I feel a little sorry for my poor brother, who's probably sick and tired of coming over to Pullman ever couple months. He's a trooper, that one. ;)  I'll return the favor, though....once he's at school somewhere exotic. What a burden it will be to visit him in Hawaii, right?

What else is going on? School wise, this week turned out busier than I was expecting, but I guess that's fair. It wouldn't be nice for everyone else to be stressing about tests when I just got to coast through. I only have one exam this week, and the rest is just a lot of homework and paper-writing stuff. But I made my official pre-break to-do list, which means that my motivation now is to keep crossing things off! Tonight I need to finish a history paper, a math lesson, and meet up with my T&L presentation group. Oh, and trying to eat everything in the fridge that might go bad between now and December. Wow -- December! It's so insanely close! We're lucky - there hasn't been any signs of serious snow in Pullman yet, and I'm good with that. It's not invited until after Thanksgiving, and even then, Snow and me have a love-hate relationship.

All the Northside core girls 

Our core finished the Operation Christmas Child outreach project - the girls did an amazing job! It was XA wide, but we "sponsored" it. The goal was 12 boxes -- we did 13. Awesome. :) I'm taking them to the drop off today.

Random tangent: I'm old! Gah! My birthday is tomorrow, though frankly, I haven't given it a whole lot of thought. I've already been blessed to get a card and a package in the mail (no, I haven't opened them yet!) and I'm going to be spending the day doing various things with my friends/family (not birthday things, just social things). So it'll be a good day, I think. :) I'm at that point where I feel like I enjoy keeping my birthday kind of secretive. Not because I don't want people to know the date, but just because I don't want them to feel like they need to say or do anything. In the grand scheme of life, it's not that important. Though I am turning 20, I don't feel nearly old enough or mature enough to carry that age. Maybe someday I'll feel ready to be 20....my guess is about the time I turn 30. haha.

Workin' my new WSU sweatshirt!

I've registered for next semester, and it's going to be insane. I'm taking a full load (18 credits), as well as a lot of other outside-of-class things. Realistically, I also need to find a job, or some source of income, just because I can't keep spending money without saving more. Especially since there are some exciting things on the horizon for the summer. I'll write more about that when I have more liberty to speak about it, but when I found out last night, I nearly started crying with excitement. That's a story for another blog entry.

Alright, well, not much other news as of right now. I have class in 10 minutes, so I'd better start packing up my stuff. Hopefully by the next blog entry, I can title it with some Christmas music!!! :D

*Just A Kiss, Lady Antebellum

"With what we have... I promise you that... we're marching on ..."

For those doubts that swirl all around us,For those lives that tear at the seams,We know,We're not what we've seen,
For this dance we'll move with each other.There ain't no other step than one foot,Right in front of the other----------------------------

Hey blogosphere! Long time no see!
:)
And yeah, it really has been awhile since I've written. The life of a college "sophomore" I guess...just going nonstop. The last month has just flown by -- I still can hardly believe it's already mid October. I loved college last year, but it definitely improves once you get past the freshman awkwardness. College when you know what you're doing is waaay better. Haha.

Definitely settled into a good rhythm, balancing school, fun, and Core leading. Classes are all awesome this semester, I actually want to know what we're learning about, which makes studying and homework so much more fun! It's encouraging, feeling like I am still on the right path. Even my honors class about evolutionary biology has been a great experience. I was blessed with an amazing professor who knows how to keep from stepping on the toes of Christians too much. Granted, there have been challenges I've had to rectify in my spirit, but I went in expecting that. And our exams are in a group format, so I don't feel the pressure to write about what I don't agree with. Apparently the post-exam evaluations from my group were really good though - I talked to my prof after class today and she told me that I got really great reviews from my group members, which was encouraging. :)

On the social front, it's been good. I've seen a pretty specific shift in friend circles from last year, both people who are at home and people here. But I'm also okay with it. I've learned a lot about relationships and I've started to become more comfortable with making new friends and being the initiator in those situations. Crazy, huh? But I like this new side of me. I'm less "clingy", I feel like. Not only do I know how to make new friends, and how to maintain a purposeful relationship, I've become more comfortable leaving people in God's hands. If they don't want to be my friend, it's less of a personal offense. Idk, stuff like this is hard to explain in writing. *shrug* Doing great with my roomie. It takes a month or so to get things figured out, but we've hit a really great stride and I like the environment it's become.

I feel that the older I get, the more aware I am of how far I have to go in maturity. That's something that God has really been teaching me over the last few months. I think of myself too highly, and I think that I know what God's timing is. As we learned at XA Fall Camp, sometimes we have a microwave mentality when it comes to God's timing and our prayers/desires. In reality, we need to have a farming mentality; it's a process that requires patience and every step is important. There are things that I really want, and I've been learning that I won't get them until they're no longer priorities in my thought life. I have to be oriented towards the Father's heart first, and then eventually, He'll bring me what I need without my even realizing it. But I've got a-ways to go before Jesus is the only thing on my mind. I'm trying, I am. But my humanity can be such a roadblock sometimes!

Baby pumpkins! :)

I'm pretty tired tonight, so I guess that's all the updating that will come for right now. Keepin' it short and sweet. Haha. :) Fall's starting to come to Pullman, all the leaves are turning. It's gorgeous, though I don't really relish the idea of 30 degree temperatures and snow being right around the corner.

I don't know why the song for tonight's post is stuck in my head, but it is. And for some reason, the sentiments just resonate with me. Keep marching on... through everything that happens... through good and bad... using everything we're given ... and just keep marching on.

*Marching On, One Republic

"Am I really something beautiful? Yeah, I wanna believe...wanna believe that..."

One month down! Well, four weeks...but for all intents and purposes, that's the same thing. Haha.

So far, classes have been good. I mean, it's a lot of information every week that I need to be covering. And we haven't gone through our first round of midterms yet, so I'm still in the "coasting" phase. I've got basically only classes that relate to my majors/minor, which makes it so much better. I actually enjoy reading my textbooks this semester! :)

My roomie and I are doing really well. It's a different dynamic than it was last year, and I'm still learning how to read her, but I know we're going to have fun living together this year. I've seen my last-year's roommate several times since the year has started, which is great. Honestly, she became one of the best friends I ever have had, not really because we are so similar (although in many ways we are), but because we grew so comfortable being totally honest. After the somewhat overwhelming experience of moving away from home for the first time, we both needed a way to feel "home" at school. So, at least on my end, I never tried to hide anything. Yeah. I was really blessed.

Our small group this year is going to be an...interesting...experience. Haha. It's been really inconsistent so far, who's been coming. And last week, all but one person had an "excuse" to not show up. It's just funny, since I'm just doing this for the very first time, I don't know how to approach the awkward situations like that yet. This is going to be a big year of growth for me, leadership-wise. I'm very grateful for the Chi Alpha family, and I'm grateful that I have a place this year where I feel "needed". That was so weird, last year, never feeling like I had a role to play, in anything really. I notice, even in my friendships, that I'm more committed now that I know someone wants me to be there. The girls in the leadership team are amazing, and I hope that we will get to know each other much better over the next few months. Plus, the freshmen who have been getting involved are super fun. I like hanging around with them when I get the chance.

On Sundays, we started a series at Resonate called "Uncommon Sense: For Love, Sex, and Dating". Let me begin by saying, if you are a human over the age of 15, you should go to the church website and watch the videos of the messages. So far, sooo good. Last week was a message directed towards men, but there was still a lot that the women could get out of it. The older I get, the more respect and admiration I have for the guys who are living life the right way. I'm super proud of my brothers. It's easier this year to feel like I have at least the beginnings of guy friends, which I have missed so much. Nothing more than that (which is another entry in and of itself), but that is alright. Girls just get boring after awhile. Haha. I think this sermon series is going to be awesome, though. It's ministering to me a lot where I'm at, and has been helping put things back in perspective. Anyone who's been single for any period of time knows how the wistful thinking comes in waves. The first few weeks of school, I definitely was riding one of those waves. It's calming down, and I'm happy about that. Emotionally, I don't like having to go through the day that high-strung.

I've got laundry ready to be moved to the dryer, so I'd better finish up this entry so I can go to bed before it gets "too" late. We had some hilarious (slightly tipsy) people stop by tonight at like 11:45 - I got to teach a guy how to take his earrings out. He and this girl who were with him had apparently been asking several different people to try and help get his earring out. It was the same kind of post that I wear, so I could do it without any problem. They were astonished. ;) Pretty funny.

Not much else to say....Lion King is being released in 3D in theaters on Friday!! I'm excited. :D And me and Brianna are probably going to drive to Spokane or Lewiston in order to watch it. College road trips, bay-beee!

*Someone Worth Dying For, Mikeschair

"They say that miracles are never ceasing....and every single soul needs a little releasing..."

And here I go again! Been in Pullman for 5 days now, and there's a bunch of stuff to update about. Moved in on Monday night slash Tuesday into Scott Hall #308. I love my room! It's working out really well for me so far, granted my roommate gets here tomorrow so we might have to re-organize depending on what kind of stuff she has. I've been doing what I can to meet the neighbors, however, there are a lot of them who have been busy with rush all week long. Our first floor meeting is tomorrow night, so I guess that will be a good place to at least put names with faces of the rest. I'm also really lucky, because not only do Brianna and I share a corner room (about a foot wider than a normal room) but we are one of about 4 double rooms that did not get turned into a triple. I came into the year trying to be mentally prepared for a third roommate, and I would have rolled with whatever, but I'm so happy we don't have a third. My mental sanity really needs to have space, and a place to go and recharge with all that's on my plate this semester, and I think a third person would have diminished the possibility of that.

I spent Monday and Tuesday with the Chi Alpha leadership team for this coming year. Week of Welcome and freshman outreach stuff, vision casting for the semester, setting goals...all that fun stuff. Not gonna lie, I was so tired by last night! I'm learning more and more how to come across as an extroverted person, and my INFJ personality type does naturally love and value interaction with people. But the other side of that is the guarded side...the part of me that needs to be alone once in awhile to recharge. And it was a stretch to really initiate conversations and activities with people. Our first small group is going to be one of those nights too, I think. I'm really bad at being the "party person". I like other people to plan, then I just show up. That's not gonna happen this year -- something that I will really try and be okay with. Thankfully, I have two amazing partners to lead with me, and they are both more outgoing than I am.

Gettin some vitamin D and working my free U-Rec sunglasses 

I keep hearing awesome things from various people about the call to revival that is on our campus this year. And I believe it -- there is definitely a peaking of spiritual interest and openness. I don't want to waste the opportunities that I know are coming. I know I need to start searching for a place outside the "spiritual ghetto" to get involved. That is my next task for the first few weeks of school.

Not a ton else to say....but I felt like I owed the blog world an update. ;)
For now...

*Sound of Sunshine, Michael Franti & Spearhead

"And here we go...there's nothing left to lose..."

"So I packed my car and I headed east
Where I felt your fire and a sweet release
There's a fire in these hills that's coming down
And I don't know much but I found you here
And I can not wait another year
Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon"

"Cause if she wanna rock, she rocks...if she wanna roll, she rolls..."

It’s June! Crazyness! Or…craziness. My bad. I’ve almost been home for a month (One month will be Sunday.) and it feels like a year and a week both at once. I guess I have some backtracking to do…

My car on the drive home

I moved out of Regents Hall on May 6^th, 2011. It was so hard, watching this little room that had really become my home suddenly demoted to a stoic, personality-less place. It was harder saying goodbye to the person who helped make it that way. Not gonna lie, I had to sit in the parking lot in my car (which was full to the brim of my stuff) and just cry for a few minutes. And I know that Alma and I are still friends – it’s not like you’re never going to see the person again – but it’ll just be a different dynamic. I miss having her around to talk to and hang out with. We did catch up one day last week in Vancouver, which was really nice.  Looking forward to her coming to Longview soon.

The reason I left Pullman so quickly is because I had a job interview at Macy’s on May 7^th. Spoiler alert – I GOT IT!  :D Yay! I felt like the interview went really well, seeing as this is the first job that I’ve had to “apply” for. My high school job just kind of got dropped in my lap – awesome for the resumé, but provided little apply/interview experience. I’m so blessed to have gotten this job, I know. Though to my credit, I’d been sending out applications and cover letters for probably six weeks prior to summer. I’m working as a “flex team” associate, which basically means that I fill in any shifts that haven’t been picked up by the regular full-time associates. It’s rather unpredictable as to when and what department I’ll be working in, but I don’t mind that really. And I’m having a ton of fun! It’s challenging for me, because I prefer not to be as extroverted and sometimes pushy as this requires, but I know it will have a great impact on my people/professional skills for the future. And there is also the possibility that once summer is over, I can transfer my position to the Macy’s in Moscow, which would mean I could have a job during the school year. Plus, flex-team associates are only guaranteed 40 hours in a quarter, which basically translates to the minimum I work is one shift a week. Not bad. 

I’ve been trying to jump in feet-first to some ministry stuff around Longview/Kelso. There’s a college-age church called The Vine, which I have been starting to go to on Tuesday nights. That was one of my spiritual summer goals – to find a college age group and do my best to get involved in encouraging them. I like it quite a bit, though I don’t know a whole lot of people there quite yet.

In regards to other social stuff, not gonna lie, the whole friend situation can be a little weird sometimes. People who I want to see more often are either not home yet or gone most of the summer, so I’ve spent a lot of time just hanging out by myself. I don’t mind hanging out with myself, but I just miss the constant interaction with people. And some of the people who are in town haven’t seemed very interested in catching up with me…not to make it sound like I think I’m the coolest thing in the world, but just to say I am a little hurt that they’ve gotten so comfortable “not” being as good of friends. I’m starting to move on now, but the first two weeks? I was so ready to go back to Pullman and see all the people there. All my friends there. And yes, I do consider them my friends now. I’m trying really hard to move past my shyness in regards to developing relationships. I’ve recognized that a lot of the time it holds me back because I’m so scared. I need to not be.

I did agree to be a Core Facilitator for ChiAlpha next year. I’m excited to finally have a ministry role at WSU. After growing up in the church and constantly being in positions of service and leadership, I felt very lost last year just being a “follower”. One more way God was affirming my gifts, I guess. So yeah, I’ll be co-leading a small women’s group as well as doing a bunch of other random things to help the Body there. It’s going to be new for me, because as much as I feel called to leadership, I’ve never lead anyone in a spiritual sense before. I need to focus on getting as good with God as possible this summer so I will be in a place to help my sisters next year. Part of how I’m going to be doing that is going to SICM – which is the Student Institute for Campus Ministry in Bellingham, WA. Basically, it’s a one week conference for college students who want to learn how to be leaders on their campuses (campusi?). I’ve heard amazing things about it, and it’s apparently attracting people from all over the country. I know how much that is going to stretch me, but I’m also really excited. There can’t be anything better than spending a week learning how to do what God wants, surrounded by other Christians who are doing the same thing. Just sayin’.  

So overall, I’d say that summer is currently running about a B/B+. But hey, I’m queen of the optimists! I have faith in an “A” summer. It can happen!

Finding some wifi! :)

Until next time, ya’ll.  :D 

*Rock and Roll, Eric Hutchinson

"Mama once told me...You're already home if you feel love..."

Woot! Final week of the school year!  :D  But it's been a little bit of a bittersweet weekend. In all honesty? I'm not really wanting to move out yet. I love my little hovel here in Regents Hall. It's a crazy life that this year has been, but I really like everything about it. And now, Pullman is bringing out the beautiful sunshine, and the scenery that is just not even comparable to anything anywhere else in the world. God's doing crazy stunts with the sunsets.... and I'm just happy. I wish we had an excuse to still be here for a few weeks without the stress of finals or anything. The good thing is, I am really looking forward to spending a lot of time driving to Seattle/Vancouver/Portland to visit people this summer, and I hope that some of them will venture to the not-as-touristy city of Longview and see me too! *wink, wink* I've been slowly packing my stuff up and loading my car, just a little at a time. I don't think I could do it all in one day. Taking baby steps helps me to transition out of living here so it won't be quite as emotionally up and down on the actual day of.

I know once I get home, and start feeling like I have  a place there again, I'll be more in the summer mode. But Longview seems a little foreign right now....I don't know what my routine will be or what I'll be doing for the next 3.5 months. And that's such a big chunk of time that is unaccounted for! All I know is that I want to get a job and find a college-age group (both big challenges in that area of the world).

As I'm staring at my "semester checkout sheet", courtesy of the residence hall association, I can't help but feel a little nostalgic. This time last year, I was putting finishing touches on my (ok, bragging a little) valedictorian speech, feeling amazing during golf season, proofreading the yearbook for the billionth go round, and freaking out about leaving my comfortable bubble. And here I am, now a one-year alumna, and a whole new batch of seniors is getting ready to move on (though not necessarily move out, I realize). To them: I advocate 150% that if you can, get out of town. Not because it's a horrible place, because it's NOT. But because there's no better way to explore who you are than by leaving everything that defined who you were. 


Okay, speech over. This blog, really, is for the superficial stuff too. I was one of those nerdy types who made a color-coded, categorized list of what I was taking to college. But I realize that not everyone is going to do that, so I'll give you guys the quick "do" and "don't" packing suggestions from someone who's been there. And a sidenote: research as much as you can on the room you'll be living in and the rules that your school has. Because I know there's a lot of variance.
Do:
       - Invest in appropriately sized tubs. Not giant rubber-maids, but clear storage bins. They come in all kinds of sizes, and you can use them for everything! Groceries, dishes, extra toiletries, snacks, scarves/hats, you name it. You don't have to worry about keeping them orderly, and at the end of the year, that's one less thing to try and pack into a box - they're already in a box!
       - Buy plenty of removable wall hangers (aka: Command strips). You'll always think of new reasons to use one.
       - Invest in a bed set/mattress pad/pillow that you actually find comfortable. As long as it fits a TwinXL mattress, it will be worth the extra few bucks for something that helps you sleep as opposed to the simple bed-in-a-bag set. Not knocking those, just be sure you can actually sleep well with just that.
       - Pack as many comfy pairs of tennis shoes as you have. The more the merrier! Unless you're joining a sorority or majoring in business/communications, there aren't going to be occasions for 12 different pairs of heels. One or two is plenty if you're going to be walking to class everyday.
      - Febreeze and a wax warmer. Every room wants them. Inevitably, the garbage, the hall, your closet, or the outdoors will have an odd odor that seems to cling to your room. Febreeze is great for the quick fix, and a candle warmer that operates on a lightbulb not a flame will keep the room smelling good. They're safe, and you can switch out the wax once the old scent melts away. Though most schools say they're "technically" off limits, after the first week, nobody will be snooping around in your room. Just put it in a cupboard when you leave for break.
       - If you have room, a nightstand table or personal bookshelf is great! I got mine for like $20 and it keeps movies, books, my clock, and all the random stuff that just needs a place to accumulate.
         - One of those electric hot-water heaters. They're awesome for making tea, coffee, macaroni, all kinds of random things.
        - A heavy-duty microwave safe plate, bowl, and mug. I'm talking something ceramic, here. As long as you don't plan to drop them from a five foot cupboard, invest. The lightweight plastic ones are great for some things, but most of them aren't microwave safe so they'll warp if you try.
       - Get at least one power strip/extension cord and a few of those outlet multipliers (the things that turn one into two or three). Outlets are in weird places, and not always accessible depending on where you put your furniture. Not to mention, when you add up all the things that need to be plugged in at any given time, you're going to want some spares.

Don't: 
       - Fall for every single "college student needs" item. Summer and fall, there are tons of products being advertised that you won't actually use, or at least need to evaluate if you would. There are others that, while colorful, are a cheap and breakable version.
       - Bring originals of your favorite pictures. Make copies of the ones you like the best so that it's okay if they get bent, fade in the sun, or you need to poke holes in it to put on a bulletin board. And only bring  a few things in actual frames, because counter space will be at a premium
    
Okay guys, I guess that's all the advice I have for right now.  :)

Yeah, it's been an awesome year.  I would agree that college is going to be some of the best times of my life. Hands down.

*Lost in My Mind, Head & the Heart

"We just wanna make the world dance....forget about the price tag..."

Wow, has it seriously been a month since my last post? Time sure flies!
--
Well, this year is quickly drawing to a close. Yesterday was the first day of "dead week", which contrary to its name, means "do as much as you can in as little time as possible" week. I've only got 3 finals, which is very relaxed compared to some, but it will still be a lot of work for me. I'm trying to keep myself motivated to study instead of play, which isn't always easy (especially when my [very much loved] roomie is able to sleep in until noon and watch movies all afternoon). But it's been a fantastic freshman year, and really, I'm kind of sad to see things wrapping up. Luckily for me, almost all of my friends live within about 2 hours of home, so I know that we at least have the option to hang out once in a while.  :)

This past Sunday was Easter - and it was fantastic! I've been excited for it for almost a week beforehand. Resonate had a service in the morning instead of the evening, so I got up "early", went down to the dining hall, and had my first muffin since the beginning of Lent. And it was a very tasty one, at that! Came upstairs and opened my "easter basket" care packages from my family - they're just so awesome - and then started getting ready for church. It was great - I put on my "Jesus" music and did everything except for hair. Then drove down to Stephenson and spend another hour with Laurel, who was nice enough to curl my hair for me. <3 We went to service, and the room was packed! It was probably close to 400 people, and with a college church, that's so exciting to see!

I knew some people who went home for Easter, and I really debated whether or not I should. But...this is the first year here, and I wanted to experience the holiday with all of my "new" brothers and sisters. Was it weird? Yeah, a little bit. However, Easter, by nature, is kind of a floating holiday. It's been anywhere from early March to late April, and I've celebrated with any grouping of family members, in places from Longview to Hawaii. With that said, I think we have less "traditions" to miss , because it's really just about the core of the holiday. He is risen!!

Sunday afternoon, Alma and I took a roomie-roadtrip to Steptoe Butte. It was so fun! :) I've been looking forward to that opportunity to spend some girl time with her for a while now. We just hung out, took pictures, and then went to dinner afterwards. It was a great kickoff to the last 2 weeks of school. Honestly, I couldn't have asked for a better first year roommate, and I'm pretty sad that we can't live together again next year. I'm glad that we live so close to each other so there will be opportunities to hang out in the future.

Another new facet for next year, besides the new classes, living situation, and sophomore status, is going to be leading a Core. I've been invited to help facilitate a women's small group for Chi Alpha next year, which is exciting and a little bit intimidating. I know that this is the next logical step for me, but it's just weird to actually be taking it.

What else is goin' on? Hm... well, I have started packing stuff for summer. Mostly just things like books and DVDs, dress clothes, scarves, random things like that. But one box and bag at a time, it's getting gathered up. I'm definitely excited for summer, even though I'm sad to see this year be over. I'm hopefully getting a job, in fact, I have an interview set up the Saturday I get back. But I mailed out probably close to 15 applications, so something's got to come through, right? Aside from seeing friends and family, and taking some chill time, I will also be taking the final level of calculus at LCC during the second half of the summer to get those credits out of the way. Gonna be a crazy last month or so of break, but I'm excited to be being proactive about it. Plus, going 4 months without math is a long time when it's the level that I'm working with right now. 6 weeks is a much more manageable break.

Speaking of math, that's my first final next week. I'd better get back to reviewing some indefinite integrals.... :)

*Price Tag, Jessie J

"Makin' banana pancakes....pretend like it's the weekend now..."

Wow...so I just needed to post an update blog. A: because it's been a few weeks, and B: because tonight was so awesome.  :)
     Short and sweet- Spring Break was awesome. I loved being home, and early in the week it was kind of depressing to be back in classes. But I'm getting back into the routine, so it's all okay now.
    I'll just start with the main event - we had another "Fratcakes" event tonight. This one was from 10 until 2, and I was there until about 1:30 or so. I absolutely LOVE doing this. It's so much fun, and I love how people are always so taken aback by a few free pancakes. But as for why I'm really writing this... I had a great conversation tonight. I just keep asking God to speak to this guy's heart. He came up to the tent with his friend, and they asked us about the pancakes, and he wants to know if this is for a church. So I told him, yes, we're with Resonate, and just giving out pancakes.
   "Is there any Jesus involved?"
    "Yeah, sure," I say, "There's a lil' bit of Jesus involved. We're just out here loving people because He does."
    We then begin to discuss how he's Jewish, and therefore "can't accept our pancakes". Jokingly, of course. He asks what church, and where it is and stuff like that. And we're just talking about random theology, communion,  the differences between Catholic and Protestant, when he happens to swear, and then apologize. And me, being me, casually reply with, "It's all good."  He's kind of taken aback by this, and is like, "What? That doesn't offend you?" I just say that just because something is a conviction of mine, doesn't mean I get to hold him to my standard or judge him for what he's doing. By this point, his friend has pancakes, and so we introduce ourselves, shake hands, and he leaves.  The night goes on, and about 12:30 or 1-ish, he comes back, by himself, and gets two pancakes. Then proceeds to come stand next to me and say that he wants to talk some more while he eats them.
   "Give me your sales pitch."
    I knew the 2 minute Gospel wasn't what he was looking for. "I don't have a sales pitch. It's not about 'selling' it to you. Jesus can sell himself."
    Again, confused look.  And then randomly, "so you believe in the Trinity?" Me: "Yeah, I do."
    "Where does that idea come from? I mean, where in Scripture is that mentioned?"
      I'm so happy at this point - because I know the answer to this! AND I know it from the Old Testament, which is all he'll credit anyhow. I tell him about Genesis 1:1, and how all 3 parts of God are present at creation. And he says he's never heard it explained like that before. Our conversation just goes on like that! We talked about hope, and how I feel sad for people who don't believe in more than this life because there's so little hope. He asks me if I can even say something negative, and if there's a group of people that irritate me. I decided to level with him, and said "Apathetic Christians". That spurred the discussion about how people need to just go all out or none at all. And we talked about homosexuality, and how in God's eyes, all sins are the same (another 'new' thing for him) even if our culture weights them differently. And about why Christians don't believe that the Old Testament laws are necessarily applicable to us anymore because Jesus' blood opened a new covenant.
      He finishes his pancakes, and tells me "Thanks. I've learned some stuff tonight. Might need to go home and crack open my Bible. I do own one, believe it or not." before leaving.  :D  Have I mentioned how amazing God is? All this week I've been wondering if I'm ready to take the step into a leadership or discipleship role. And after tonight, I love answering questions. People are so curious when they see authentic human beings, just...loving Jesus. And my history in all the Old Testament stuff, and knowing the answers to those kinds of questions, well... that just made it so much more effective. And I loved every second of it! It's gone past just the need to "win" that I had when I was younger.  Sharing the Gospel is all about listening to people, and meeting them where they need met. They don't need to be smacked over the head with hell. They need to be encouraged to be thirsty. I just pray that the words I had to say tonight were God's words, not just mine. And that they'll plant seeds of curiosity and openness to Christianity for him.
    Call me crazy...but I would totally stand outside every weekend in the freezing cold to have conversations like that with people. It's so worth it.
    That's what I've been learning these last few weeks, I guess. Lukewarm just doesn't cut it in this world, guys. It's gotta be all out. And people respond well to authenticity. It's not about being perfect, it's about being real. Time to step up, brothers and sisters.  :)  Time to step up.

*Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson

"I sing a simple song of love...to my Savior...to my Jesus...."

Dude!! Spring break is coming in like.... less than 3 days. :D  Actually, I will be home in approximately 60 hours. I think I calculated that right.  :D I'm so excited! It's not a homesick "oh my gosh get me out of Pullman" type of feeling, it's just, I'm ready for a break, and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with some "old" friends and seeing my family. I worked really hard this past weekend to catch up on all my homework, so as of last night, all I really have left to do is study for my 2 tests, and run a bunch of "pre-leaving" errands. I won't be able to totally forget about school, but it'll come close. :)

Riding back with me Friday morning is my (amazing) roomie, her friend from Eastern (who's gonna get here by bus Thursday afternoon), and yes, a total stranger. WSU started this "ride share" network, and I figured, if there's anyone who's going to LV/Kelso that's not a total psycho, can leave when I am, and is willing to help pay for my gas there and back, why not? I've got an extra seat in my car, after all. So there's a girl named Chelsea who's also going to be in our car. Look at me and my bad self, branching out. Hahaha. :) I'm coming Longview!! As fast as I can!

Another thing to talk about in this blog is Lent. I have never really recognized Lent, but I think I'm going to try this year. When thinking about what I should give up, I was having trouble finding something that wouldn't just me making it "easy" on myself. And as people have been saying, it's not about what we can afford to sacrifice. It's recognizing that Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, and we need to surrender something that "hurts" a little bit. Randomly as I was going through some options, the verses in John 6 came to my mind. That's the part of the Bible where Jesus talks about Himself as the Bread of Life. And I've been enjoying the symbolism of that idea - giving up bread. For those who don't know me super well, I love bread. It's my favorite food group ever. And so I'm going to take these 40 days to focus on making Jesus the "bread" in my life. Yes. I realize that it's going to be hard. So many food choices, especially for a college student, involve bread of some sort.

So here's my "yes/no" list. Not so that I can be legalistic, because I know that's not what Lent is about. But just so that I can keep it straight with me, and with God, what I'm giving up.

"Bread" includes: Bread by the traditional definition, as well as bagels, biscuits, muffins, scones, crust on pizza or pies, waffles/pancakes/french toast, crackers, and tortillas
Not in the "bread" category: granola, cereal, "breading" on meat (ie: chicken strips), pasta, potatoes

The only exception to my "Lent-ing" would be if I'm a guest at someone else's house for a meal, and the main course falls under/involves one of the items. But if I can just skip the rolls, that's what I'd do. Oh, I guess communion is an exception too. Although, I don't know whether or not those baby crackers are even counted in the food pyramid. ;) Lol.

I am very much aware of how much of a challenge this is gonna be for me. And even though it's a much more traditional "Lent" idea than giving up something like Facebook, or TV, or more modern options, I think this is what I need to do this time.  :)  So, starting as of... oh, 20 minutes ago.

Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever. " - John 6:35

*Arms of Love, Vineyard

"Oh, I just can't get enough...how much do I need to fill me up?"

We were struck with an impromptu blizzard this week. I don't know how to explain how annoying I found it, simply because I was supposed to get out of town this weekend and visit my friend in Seattle. I'm just getting restless. It's been almost 7 weeks straight that I've been in Pullman. I'm loving this semester, and I really have fallen in love with the university. But it's time to get out for a while, ya know? It's just time. Only 2 more weeks until Spring Break - I can't wait. Not only have I not been home since January, but I haven't had any visitors here either. Last semester, I at least saw people from home about once a month or a little more. But the snow is beautiful.... I will admit. And I made it to the grocery store and back without dying, although it DID almost give me a heart attack.

Busyness is picking up, just with a lot of "independent" projects that require out of class time. Good for me though, to continue being more self-motivated. I've also started applying for summer jobs...any of them that I can think of. I need to be able to make money this summer, so I'm trying to get the jump on any other applicants that might be coming later in the spring. We'll see. Not that I'm excited about working 30 hours a week and hopefully also taking classes. But what must be done, must be done.

I've been struggling this week with my attitudes, I think. I'm getting very easily irritated. The good and bad thing with that is, I have learned at least to be mature enough to internalize my frustrations. I do my best to keep any signs of anger from people (although those who've known me for a long time definitely know what to look for). But it's been little things that wouldn't even normally bother me. It's gotta be spring fever. :P My roommate is going to be in Spokane for part of this weekend, and even though that makes it lonely here, I think it's going to be good timing. I need some "me" time to chill and process and just be silent. Recharging. And the funny thing is, as I find myself irritated with things, on the other side of my brain, God's been showing me how to be broken for other people. My heart's learning to just ache over the lost, or even those who aren't in the same place as I am spiritually. Granted, that's good. I know that's how I'm supposed to be towards people. But combining it with my "flesh" side that's constantly trying not to explode on someone... It's becoming exhausting, all these emotions. I'm not one who loves to get on that particular roller coaster.

Random: we finally set aside the time, and rearranged the dorm room last week. It's a good change, I think, and it was good to clean things out and re-organize. It's much more functional in my opinion. Ohh- there's the tie in. Just like it's sometimes time consuming and difficult to reorganize something, it's not always easy to make changes in our own lives or hearts. But in the long run...it makes us much more functional Christians. Truth hurts with that one.

Well, I should get back to some homework before my next engagement. :)  Peace out, ya'll.

*You Got Me, Colbie Callait

"More than a love song can give....more than a feeling like this..."

Seeing as it's been almost 3 weeks since my last post, I figured it's time for another update goin' on.   =)

Midterms are over, thank goodness! Still waiting to hear how my math test went, but I felt pretty good about it, so I really hope it was a justified feeling. In my english class, we're having to design an experiment or something to do our own research on. It's a little scary, not gonna lie. Basically, we're writing the information that we're writing the paper on.

This week marks the end of the 5th week of classes, which means there is only one more month until spring break. How does time go so crazy fast?? I was having a rough stretch about a week ago - just wanting to be done with school and go home. But at the same time, I've been learning how to deal with transitions. Every time I start to feel lonely, or jealous of the people who get to go home every weekend, then something cool just happens. I'll have a really good night with people and realize, without really knowing it, I have made friends. Ones that I really enjoy being with. It's still a different dynamic  than past friendships, but I'm excited to spend the next few years here and see where things go.


I've been doing really well with my New Year's Resolution - the cliche "get in shape" one, actually. But I'm trying to stay motivated, and I'm going to the rec every weekend, taking a dance class twice a week, and doing an ab workout almost every night. And this last week I've started working on some new eating habits. As hard as it has been, I definitely feel much better. Still a ways to go yet, however.

And what else.... hmm...

I guess there's that little piece of me that's really wanting next week to be over. I love weekends, and next week is a 3 day weekend! Yay, President's Day!  =)  Plus, Alma and I are hopefully re-arranging our room, which it definitely needs. We need a little spice in our lives. Haha. But to get to that weekend, there is still Valentine's Day. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna be one of those girls who sits alone in bed with ice cream watching The Notebook. Quite the opposite - I have lots going on that day. And I'm not "really" looking for anyone at this point anyhow.  I worked through that whole "woe is me" phase not that long ago, and have reached contentment about spending another <3 Day celebrating Singles Awareness Day. There's just always a few moments that are hard, because I'm human. I just have to keep prayin' my way through them and trusting on God's timing. Wow. That could be another blog all in itself if I keep going down this track.

It's almost time to start looking for summer jobs and all kinds of great stuff like that. I'm not loving the thought of working full time this summer, but I know I really need to. I need the money, and the work experience. I just hope that I can find one. There's the real trick. I have to get SOMEthing, so if anyone knows of openings in Cowlitz County, PLEASE let me know. LOL. But summer also brings lots of other fun stuff, and friend time, and sunshine, and good food.... mmmm. Bring it on.

I guess this is really the extent of what I have to say at this point.
Until next time

*More Than A Love Song, Augustana

"I know I still make mistakes...but you have new mercies for me everyday..."

"You stay the same through the ages. Your love never changes. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. And when the oceans rage, I don't have to be afraid. Because I know that you love me."

Well, I've had a really good weekend. :) One of those that I feel like I should blog about, for when, undoubtedly, the devil comes to try and tell me it didn't matter.

This weekend was the Chi Alpha winter camp 2011. It's pretty much a weekend getaway with all the XA branches in Washington state. We drove to Camp Beracha in Auburn, and it was just...good. Our topic this weekend was sin. Which, as Julie said when introducing it, is something that we tend to gloss over in the church a lot. It's not easy to talk about the tough stuff. We don't want to come across judgemental, or scare off any possible unbelievers who might be sitting in the audience. We try and make our Christianity very surfacy sometimes, and they pretty much took the lid off of that this weekend.  Friday night, Julie shared about leaving the "desert" of our lives, and going to find water. And the main point that I actually took away from that night was "Once you've found water, stop living like you haven't." That wasn't necessarily something that she mentioned, but it was one of the comments that I think God told me, personally. Knowing the truth means living in the truth.

Saturday morning, we talked about the three battles that we face with sin - ourselves, the world, and the devil. It's interesting to think about them as three separate entities. I always considered it one battle, but the devil used ourselves and the world as weapons on his behalf. We broke it down a lot, and then identified ways to combat the fights - regenerative power (Holy Spirit), truth, and trust in God. Saturday night was about how to pick ourselves back up after we've sinned, and like Hebrews 12, running the race with perseverance. We were designed to be runners, and as Christians, are bound to endure hardships. It's just part of being human, and part of training to live life God's way.

Then Sunday morning, the speaker (Jessica from University of Idaho) talked about what the role of Christian brothers and sisters is regarding sin in one another's lives. I think that she did a really good job explaining what "judgment" means in the Christian life. It's a balance between humility and self-evaluation, giving love and grace to others, and trying to spur them on when they're living below their potential. I also liked that she mentioned how we aren't to judge those outside the faith, holding them to our standards, when heck- they don't even know what the standards ARE to begin with!

Bringing it to a personal level a little bit, I was able to really see and hear God at work in my heart. I know that He was reminding me of things in my life that I need to work on, and showing me that it's really okay to not be perfect. I've been guilty of believing the "I need to be perfect" lie so many times...of  feeling burdensome to others, and of being afraid of judgment. He's given us each other for a reason  - to live this human life together.  I need to continue to humble myself and remember that it's not about me. God told me that this weekend too. I just kept repeating during one of the worship songs - It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. My "flesh" doesn't deserve control. I don't have to take on these problems alone because Jesus came with the strength to help me through them. And as I was saying that, He was responding in my ear - I did it for you. He survived this world, and died for me.

"God, why'd you do it?"
"Because I love you. And I am crazy about you. Not just 'the world'. You."

Wow. That's the truth that I've been working to believe all year long. Amongst so many lies that I hear, and some that I even occasionally believe, that's the conversation that keeps repeating itself.  So who am I to question God, or His timing, when I know full well that the path He has is right, and all things will work together for my good?


*Your Love Never Fails, Jesus Culture

"And this old world is a new world...is a bold world...for me..."

Well, I think I need to post one blog entry at least before Christmas break is over. :) It's the day before I head back to school - I'm not too sure how I feel about it. I'm really looking forward to the classes I'm taking, and I do miss some aspects of college life, for sure.And it's weird not talking to all of the great people I've met.  But at the same time, being home for a month...seeing all of the people that I grew up with... it's started to take its effect again. I love the "chill"-ness of Christmas break. And this is still home, really. It's comfortable. Although at the same time, I have experienced some of the "culture shock" being back. It's tricky to not revert to some of my old habits and things...even though I've changed a lot, being back makes it really easy to be the person I was last year and not many people would know. But coming back from being away for a while, it's helped me to recognize places that I still need to grow. I can tell where my weak points are.

I actually had time this break to see a lot more people, which I loved. Thanksgiving was such a whirlwind! But having over three weeks....I could schedule a lot more one-on-one time with people. And I got to go to school a few days, see three basketball games, all kinds of cool things like that. :) It was awesome to hang out and catch up on everyone's lives.

Christmas itself was great. :) I haven't had a Christmas Day at home since I've been really little, because we usually go over to Colfax and spend it with my grandparents. This year they came here. It was really nice, and it felt like what a "normal" American family might do for Christmas. At least in my mind. Haha. And trying to keep everything scaled back and simple was good. I'm kind of at a point where I don't want stuff, really. Okay, that's a little bit of a lie. Of course I want stuff. But I recognize that I don't want it at the expense of other people. I'd much rather just try and take care of it on my own if I can. The generosity at Christmas, well... it overwhelmed me a little bit this year.

Oh, and that's right - it's 2011 now! I'm so OLD! :D Lived in 3 decades, 2 centuries, and 2 millenia and I'm not even 20 years old yet. Crazy! Lol. Did I make New Year's Resolutions? Nothing really official. I've got ideas of things I want to work on, for sure. My new "semester's resolution" is to make it to the rec center at least once a week. Which sounds like nothing to anyone who actually works out hard core, I know. But for me - that will be a challenge, at least to start with. But a good one - I definitely could get into better shape than I'm in.

This coming semester I'm taking psychology, calculus, french, english, band, and american social dance. Should be an exciting batch of classes, and I'm looking forward to it a lot. The first few weeks will be hard though, just getting back into the swing of getting up at 8am, actually walking everywhere, doing homework.... but somewhere deep down I know that once I re-adjust it'll be a lot of fun. And I'm hoping to start volunteering in the local school system this semester too. :) Get my "kid" quota every week. Haha.

I guess I'm about out of things to really talk about right now. My next post will most likely be from back in the ol' dorm room. *shakes head* Weirdness!

*Feeling Good, Michael Buble